Have you been living in fear?
Do you feel like you are losing control of your life and you don't know what to do?
Are you having a hard time letting go and trusting God?
Trust me... I get it, girl. Putting your trust in God is not always easy, especially when you're going through things that you can't control or things that you don't quite understand.
About a month ago, someone that I thought was going to be in my life forever decided that they didn't know if they wanted to be in it anymore. Honestly, that's been really hard for me to grasp because it was so out of the blue. For the first few days, I really was trying to understand the situation, where I went wrong, and what I could've done differently. I was starting to make myself feel crazy, trying to wrap my head around something that I just could not understand. Another part of me was just feeling so lost and like, "Is this a dream?" Because I couldn't control my situation and it was something that I didn't ever think was gonna happen. So I really, really had to dig deep and do some soul searching.
I really wanted to talk to you about this today because I know that there's someone reading this right now, and they're going through the same thing that I'm going through. Something out of their control is happening. They may have lost someone that they never thought they were going to lose or lost something that they never thought they were going to lose or something that's just out of their control and it's driving them crazy and they don't know what to do.
About three weeks ago I was doing some journaling. I wrote down all of the things that I was struggling with that was distracting me. Then once I got done writing all of those things that I was struggling with, I flipped the page over and I wrote the truth about what God says about me and my situation and the craziest thing happened. My hand started to tremble and I had the pen to the paper, but it wasn't quite to the paper. I could literally feel myself like trying to resist it so hard. The thing on the piece of paper that I wrote was "let it go." I circled it around like a hundred different times and it's in big bold letters. "Let it go." As I was writing this, I was bawling crying, and then I wrote down two more things. The next thing was, "you have to let me in completely" and "I'm in control."
I have a podcast episode about how to let go and let God if you want to listen to it. I listened to that episode, that same day because I needed a reminder on how to let go and let God. I knew that's exactly what I needed to do was to just let it go and completely let him in and give him control because I actually don't have control of my life. None of us have control over our life. The Lord Almighty is in control of everything. That idea of having control of my life is so significant and I have to constantly let go and just let God just give it all to him.
In this situation that I felt like I couldn't control it was making me go insane because I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I was trying so hard to understand the situation and to gain some type of control back in my life and it just wasn't happening. I was still trying to hold on to the idea that I had control of my own life and that I could fix it. Even though I was listening to these faith-based podcasts, I was reading my Bible, I was talking to God, praying to God, asking him for help, and for comfort and peace, and letting him know he's in complete control; I wasn't completely letting go of the idea of control that I thought that I had and trusting in him 100%.
So throughout that day and that night, and the next morning, I was really trying to just let go and completely let God in and know that he's in complete control. It was so hard for me. I kept saying, "You're in complete control" and "I give it all to you" and "I let you in completely." I kept saying those things, but I could still feel myself trying to hold on to that control and not completely trusting him.
The next day I realized something about myself. Whenever you're doing personal development, you're really trying to get close to God, and having that relationship with him, he will uncover things that you didn't even realize about yourself. I wrote down something that God was speaking to me at the time, the next day, after I had listened to a faith-based podcast and I was listening to Christian music, I wrote down "My child, I have never left." I ended up writing like four pages front to back.
I realized that I had some abandonment issues that I've never quite gotten over. It really stems back to my childhood when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad left and I always felt like it was because of me. I've had important people leave throughout my life and I just had that fear of abandonment. That's why it's been so hard for me to completely trust God and give him complete control. I was afraid that he was going to leave. What he said to me that day was exactly what I needed to hear. "My child, I have never left."
No matter what, the Lord is always going to be right here with us. He's never going to leave. Even if we feel far away from him, if we stray away and we feel like he's not there, he is always there he's just waiting for us to reach out to him. This whole time I've had this fear that I didn't even realize that I had. I had this underlying issue that's been uncovered that I didn't want to fully trust God and fully let him in because I was afraid he was going to leave.
I don't know who this is for, but I know this is for someone out there. I know you've had important people in your life leave too. You have that fear of abandonment and maybe you never realized it until now. Maybe that's something that you're just now discovering like I did the other day. Maybe you feel so far away from God and you feel like you can't completely trust him because you're afraid that you're going to completely let him in, you're going to let go of all the control out of your life, and then he's just going to leave like everybody else. I'm here to tell you, and I'm also here to remind myself of this, the Lord, our God, our savior is NEVER going to leave us. He is always right here with us no matter what. Throughout all the crazy things we've done in our life, all the times we thought God wasn't there, he was always there.
We have to trust him 100%, know that he's got us and that he's working in our best interest as long as we are following him, leaning on him for that guidance, support, and acknowledging him in everything we do. He's always right here with us.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
- Proverbs 3:56
I was trying so hard to lean on my own understanding and figure out why this was happening, why this person didn't want to be in my life anymore, what I could have done differently, trying to wrap my head around this whole situation, that I just couldn't understand what it says in the verse above. We are precious children of God and he longs to be gracious and merciful. He longs to lead us on the right path to fulfill the purpose of the calling he has for us, we just have to completely let him in, let go, trust him 100%, acknowledge him in everything we do, and ask for guidance, knowledge, and wisdom.
"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." -Psalm 62:8
This verse right here shows that with God our hearts are safe; we're safe with him. We have to trust in him completely, let him guide us, let him be in complete control of our lives, and direct us in every single aspect of our life.
Here are some things that I implement to help me to learn to trust God and uncover the underlying issue:
1. Pray
- You can pray and ask for guidance, strength, wisdom, and knowledge
- This is your own personal prayer to God so whatever you want to say to him, say it.
2. Study the Bible
- Really study and try to understand the truth of God's words
- Before I study my Bible, I always pray to God and ask for knowledge and understanding to know exactly what it is that I'm reading, how to implement it in my daily life, and how to make an impact in other people's lives
- I also ask him to direct me to exactly what he wants me to read
3. Do Faith-Based Personal Development
- You can listen to a Faith-Based Podcast, read a Faith-Based book, or talk to a Godly counselor (someone that inspires you, motivates you, or helps you maintain a Godly perspective.)
4. Journal
- A lot of times I will ask myself questions and then answer them
- Ex: Ask yourself: "What are the things that I am struggling with that are distracting me?" After you write down all of those things, then ask yourself "What does God say about me and my situation?"
5. Trust God Completely
- This will take time, it's not something that will just automatically happen
- You may have to repeat these first 4 steps over and over again until you completely give all of your trust to him
If you've been having a hard time trusting in God completely, letting go of the things that you can't control, just giving it all to him, and completely trusting in him; I hope this helps you.
Before I let you go, I want to say a quick prayer. I pray that you are with every person reading this right now, Lord. I pray that you open up their hearts, their eyes, their ears, their mind, and their spirit to you Lord and that they put their complete trust in you. I pray that they know that you are right here with them and you're always going to be right here with them. You're never going to leave their side and they just have to completely let you in. They have to know you're in complete control and they have put their faith and trust in you Lord, and know that you will direct their paths. I pray that you have your arms around them and show them so much love and strength, comfort, and peace, knowing you are in complete control. I pray that they know that it's okay for them to give up that control that they feel like they have and it's okay for them to completely trust you because you're not going anywhere. You've never gone anywhere and you're never going to go anywhere and it's okay for them to put their trust in you. Once they put their trust in you, they let you direct their paths, and they let you guide them every aspect of their alive, you're going to take them to places they could never even imagine going. I love you so much, Lord. in Jesus' name. Amen.
I love you guys so much.
Never forget to choose faith over fear.
-Lorena Camille (Faith Fuels My Fire)
p.s. If you'd rather listen to Faith-based, business, mindset, and mental health tips, then check out my podcast. There I will share my personal experiences, stories I've never told before, and bring you along with this hot mess life of mine. New episodes every week.
For weekly Bible Studies, tune in every week to my podcast. Every week I go over a new chapter/s of the Book of John.
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